Tag lifehack

Kurt Vonnegut goes to buy an envelope. Profundity ensues.

[When Vonnegut tells his wife he's going out to buy an envelope] Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore.

Kurt had most of this right. But computers can be used to dance too. If anything, that's what the Internet needs.

More dancing, less office supply purchasing.

7 super simple ways to stay awake and maximize consciousness

Gotta stay up? Here's what has been working for me the past few weeks:

  • Push ups. No really, do 10 pushups and really get the blood pumping.
  • Turn up some angry Alice in Chains or Nirvana. Even 30 seconds of headbanging will wake you right up. Draw on that long forgotten and locked away teenage angst from the early 90's.
  • Chug a red bull. Sugarfree ideally. Fast and effective.
  • Sit up straight. Slouching in your chair will make you lazy and you'll end up watching hulu.com for half an hour. Sit up straight, and your whole mindset will be different.
  • Don't forget to eat. Eating is the #1 driver for energy. Have some nuts or wasabi peas around. Eat them a handful an hour.
  • Drink more water. If you're thirsty at all, it will affect your ability to think.
  • Take a nap. If all else fails, take a 20 minute nap. It's easy to be a zombie and waste time, so know when to say when.

Whether you need to cram for your next final, watch one more hour of Gossip Girl, or code to obliterate your competitors, I've found these simple actions can go a long way. You got any tips to share? Would love to hear it in the comments!